Rose chafer

 2024. 12. 05.

There is a thing I want to say. That Isten talks in my head and he is healing me. I am just after a session with him. He not often does want me to give out messages. I am not a prophet. This is not to save the world. This is our story. And now the Prime Creator will write.
So Laura is one of the oldest of my creation. There is one even older but we talk about him later. I want to write about her. She is calm usually silent. Her task of holding everything I create in her hand and looking at it never changed. That is her way of recording. She started to look at things not just when I ordered but for her own sake. She started to grow sense. She knows how I feel when I ask her to stop time, stop gravity, stop even her mind, and show me what I need to know. But she doesn’t need me to order her around. She loves to see my handwork. She loves the most what I create with the most prevalent hints of my way of thinking. For example snail shells. Perfect goldan raito. Or the leaf of the fern. I put the fractal in it. Everything is in love with me and I am in love with everything. But she is so old and she wanted a little more than that. This English word for love is so limiting so I will explain. She wanted to be more than others. Not because she wanted my attention, nor because she wanted to be „special”.It was not about powers. Definitely not about superiority. I didn’t give her any superpowers, unlike angels. Her purpose didn’t require anything more than her being able to see, to feel, to touch, she didn’t need to speculate. She wasn’t for measuring or calculating anything. She formed her own opinion about what I do. I didn’t share how I think, nor did I ever explain myself. I let her figure out everything. So she saw me everywhere. Touching the sand just for the sake of feeling it rub her finger. To feel it out. To communicate with it. Even sand has a soul she knew that. It was the same with the water. She gently submerged her palm just a little bit to feel it. And this formed her. All these impulses made her grow. This is how I improved her. I never opened her up again after her creation because she never needed fixing. She needed time to have a sense of herself because she started out as a tool and even very simple for one. She needed time for self-awareness. At first, I didn’t have the smarts to give her a persona she was a register. She had a soul but she didn’t need to be conscious. I was focusing on myself first. How could I give anything a personality if I don’t even know myself right? But this is not important right now. So there was a bug. A simple rose chafer. I haven’t created that. It started out yellow and I changed its color. She never created anything before. She just gently held up my creations and watched them. Turned them around and she was watching how she felt about them. I was looking at the things I didn’t like. I wanted to know the no-go things first. But she was looking for the beauty. Her favorites are the bugs not coincidentally because I created a lot of insects. But her favorites are the ones that look like beetles. No one dared to create anything other than their normal interaction with everything around them. You can take anything you can carry, you can break things, you can use your intellect to craft but no one created any new life forms before her. This is how I met the rose chafer. She was looking at my bugs and she was pretty much heartbroken. She secretly hoped that I would feel the same way as she did. I felt her wanting, but I needed to think it through. I knew her feelings were pure. She asks me often if her desire to be loved in that way caused the infection on the Creations but no. I have to repeat that a lot. So I knew he was madly in love with me but I was thinking that it would be nice if she invented some means of attracting me. You know like pheromones. I wanted to see some womanly „weapons” against me. Lipstick for example. It is a bad allegory but the thinking behind the use of the lipstick is the same. It is to highlight the beauty of the woman. To draw attention to an area of the body we men feel attracted to. She wasn’t the most pretty. She wasn’t the smartest. She knew my love for everything was the same hotness. So she wondered if it was right for her to feel that. She was pondering on that a lot. She was even thinking returning her love must not be a reward. It is not like a token you drop into a wending machine and you get out something you picked from the menu. She didn’t want to tell me how she felt because she wanted me to notice it on my own and take the first step. So she hid it. She didn’t want to ignite my love with hers like you use a matchstick to carry the flame. She wanted my love to ignite on its own that she feels the same is unrelated. She calculated the chances that she was the one I might ignite this flame for and her calculations showed that the chance is of a very small number near to zero. But she hoped she carried her love silently. She cried a lot but eventually, she just felt like she just needed me to exist. That is plenty. And she lifted up one of the bugs when she was contemplating on her feelings about me and that was the European chafer and she caressed the shell of it gently. And made it shine with yellow that never existed before, she made it look metallic and it was beautiful beyond anything I have done. Its beauty had only one purpose. She just wanted to feel better looking at it. She changed the shell because she was expressing her feelings. She didn’t think about the consequences nor that her making would ruin the consistency of the Creation. This has never happened before. The angels secretly reported about her to me and carried the bug to my hands right after she released it. That is when I understood that I was a little bit stupid. Just one glance at that yellow color made me ignite. I had to think through how to do it right. It would have been a great change. Me picking out one from the many and love her differently? I had to change the color. I took away that yellow, made it green, and released it. The angels were very surprised. Laura made something in the Creation and it was just slightly altered and released. Is she allowed? This has started a lot of thinking among those with great powers. So we are allowed to do that? They were very excited and watched her. Waited her to do something like this again so they can learn how to do it themself. They were too smart for their own good and didn’t understand the fundamentals. She didn’t create that shiny metallic yellow shell because of the making. She wasn’t experimenting. She just expressed herself because she felt like. It was not for anybody else. It was not for me. It was not a message nor it was meant to archive anything. It was art. They didn’t understand that. So they watched her and waited for her to create something but she didn’t repeat it for a long time. But I liked the idea, there was no greater purpose of that pretty shell on the bug besides expression. So far I stick to the principle that less is more. Everything had a purpose. So I had to think carefully about how much beauty is allowed to exist for aesthetics only. I was thinking about how to make that useful and I was thinking since my feelings have changed for her I should give out a message. Have you encountered a fly with such a shiny shell? But sadly that response never gets to her.