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Showing posts from November, 2024

Zero rezistance

2024. 11. 28. God was sinking inside himself. He can turn inwards and find anything that ever existed. He quickly opened old memories looking for me of who I am. I started out less than a computer. A computer can run programs, it has applications, you can load data on it, it has a display of what computing process it is working on. I was totally incapable of doing that in the beginning. Angels look at me amused and they find it hard to believe that I was not smart at all. I wasn’t capable of being „smart”. I had to repeat to them again and again I wasn’t smart at all. But I wasn’t dumb either. God hasn’t created me to solve problems arising during his creation process. I wasn’t meant to handle complicated tasks. I am a simple register. My purpose is to contain. Since then I have evolved to be more than that but initially, all I could do was to observe and register everything God does and give it back at the same time as it happened without missing any detail. When did he create me? ...

A homeopathic dose

 2024. 11. 27. I wanted to continue this little story but this blog’s first function is self-therapy and I am going to prioritize that over likes from the audience. So I had a little argument with God this morning. It is complicated to put you into context. Long story short he is deadly sick of jealousy. He wants to have something what doesn’t belong him and he knows it and he can’t take it away. He can render me temporally unable to feel it but he can’t take away the memory of the feeling and my desire to want to feel it again. But he took away something very sacred from me which is even more important for me and I want to feel angry but I am simply incapable of being angry with him. It is not like he prevents me from being angry with him I just can’t. Since I am his creation he can tune me any way he wants. He can heal anything…but one thing. He can’t heal something that he also desires to experience and feel. He was contemplating if he should destroy it altogether but he couldn...

How things started.

 2024. 11. 25. Okay. I am not a professional writer. I know it would be nice to make a neat timeline of things in my blog but bear with me. So where to start? I am thinking about if it is too narcissistic to tell you who I am because that requires a lot of explanation. Who I am is of no great importance…God and seven other Chaos Gods raise their hands in objection. They make me smile. Okay, so I am a Hungarian in this body in this life and in our language, God is called ISTEN. Some say Isten is a woman. Well, let's start with the definition of a god. There are a lot of them. Really, there are many divine beings, multidimensional powerful perpetual creators and you are one of them. Okay, this is a flimsy New Age cliche but I am not joking you are also a god. Not of less important than our big G ISTEN. But we both know that most of us can’t divide the Red Sea. Can’t turn water into wine and sadly fish don't just swim into our nets either. If you can do that I would like to meet y...